I Couldnt Save her
by Al Bhed- Pypa
Summary: Cid looks back on the day his wife died, and how he and his two children felt


I can still remember it all to well, it was late…and she wasn't home. I was growing more worried as time went on and never left the door. I jumped at the knock and it took me a few minutes before I could even open it. I was so expecting to see **her** there that I was in shock to see an old friend standing there instead. Of course it wasn't her, I realize now, why would she have knocked. I smiled when I saw him, but the look on his face was so solemn and so grave that my smile quickly faded and I grew full of dread. He asked if he could come in and I nodded what else could I have done. I led him to the living room and he told me I should sit down. He sat too and didn't say anything, the silence was killing me and he finally looked up at me and opened his mouth when he was cut off by a voice from the door way

"Papa, where's mommy…she always tucks me in"

I didn't know what to say, mostly because I myself didn't know where she was. All I could do was shake my head and look back to my old friend; he looked pained and told me quietly that Rikku shouldn't be here when he told me. I grew grim and there was a sinking feeling in my stomach. I gestured to Rikku to leave the room and told her

"Daddy's talking"

She looked confused but obediently left. And I beckoned for my friend to tell me what happened

"There was an accident, down in the building sites. We had just finished a new tower when a cord snapped we cleared all the workers but there was a pedestrian on the street near by who didn't get out in time when the machina fell…"

He didn't say anymore, he couldn't make himself. He avoided my gaze but instead his eyes fell upon the photo on the table of my family and it drove him to tears. I myself didn't move, I was in too much shock to do anything but sit there. When I came to my senses I grabbed the bawling man by the collar

"Where is she! Damn it man, tell me where my godamn wife is…answer me"

All he was able to mutter was that they took her to the north home hospital wing. It was all I needed to know, I grabbed my coat and ran for the door when I found myself faces with my son, looking somber yet determined and had Rikku in tow. I tried to hold myself together when he insisted they were coming. I told them to stay with my friend but that damn son of mine was much like me in the way that he wouldn't take no for an answer and that they were coming with me to see mom. I sighed and grabbed them each by the arm and ran out the door.

When I got to her room, I stopped at the door, my hand on the knob. Somehow I just couldn't get it to turn. That was I felt a small hand slip into mine, I looked down to see my little girl looking at the door, she was bravely holding back her tears of childhood grief.

" I wanna see mommy now"

I took a deep breath and opened the door to see the one thing I'd never be able forget.

I don't know now what it was that cause me to drop to my knees and cry. Whether it was the sight of the woman I loved most on that bare cold hospital bed thrashing beneath the needles and doctors, trying to escape from their grasp but failing in her weakness. Or was it her high pitched screams of anguish and pain echoing around the room. Or was it the crying of my daughter, as she saw her mommy dying, or the wail of my son crying out for his mother.

I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions, and all I remember is rushing forward and grabbing her hand and hoping she wouldn't slip out of my reach forever. The screams began to dye but the cried grew louder, but to me they seemed so distant. The thrashing grew weaker, but I didn't want it to stop! She had to show her life! Let me know she was still with me. She soon grew still and her breaths were sharp intakes. I closed my eyes and cried at her bed side. Cried, as though my whole heart was shattering right there. The doctors were silent they knew it was over, there was nothing they could do now. They left us in peace for our finale moments together.

"Mommy! Mommy wake up…why wont you answer me mommy… u have to wake up! We have to go home mommy! Mommy we need to go home! You have to tuck me in, and tell me you love me….like very night…we are going to the beach tomorrow remember mommy! Mommy! MOMMY! Daddy make her listen…make her answer! Mommy….mommy….mommy?"

I remember hearing her calls of distress and not moving to respond… I couldn't I didn't know how to tell her… brother understood, he was old enough, and by the way he screamed and kicked the wall I knew for sure he knew. But she was so small so innocent I didn't know what to do. She grabbed her mother's unmoving hand as she stood beside the bed. I knew she didn't know she was dead but she was just so confused that she had tears flowing down her cheeks nonstop. No matter how hard I try I know I'll never erase that image.

"Hey, Pops"

"What"

"Common, you're so slow! Your old age is really showing!"

That smile, that bounce…for two years I was scared that she would never do it again. Im glad the little girl I saw that day in the hospital grew up to be such a carefree girl. But I know, deep down, she has a heart the size of Spira.


End file.
